Online with Jeannie Zandi

From housemates to lovers to strangers, the ability to set boundaries is key in relating. How do we set and stand in boundaries with tenderness and strength? Join Jeannie for this three part series. 

Class 1

Jeannie begins with a guided meditation. She talks about boundaries as expressions of fact, and the ability to set them as "advanced adulting." She describes thecapacities that are needed in order to set boundaries and how challenging it can be to develop those capacities given conditioning. Jeannie's talk is followed by a simple dyad that you can do with a friend or practice on your own.

Exchange 1: Whose stuff is it and how to meet it? Psychic boundaries in relationship.

Exchange 2: Participant shares about the dyad and the sense of respect in it -- Jeannie talks from her experience of aikido sword as a metaphor for our power and the respect that is involved in owning our mutual power.

Exchange 3: Participant explores setting boundaries with a spiritual teacher.

Homework: Spend some time every day with a sense of "I am, and it's like this" and sink down into your felt experience of being. Play with the exercise of holding up a hand. (Instructions in the recording.)

Class 2

Jeannie starts with a guided meditation about sanctuary and protection, and talks about remaining soft, recognizing one's preciousness and worthiness of protection, and setting boundaries based on that. She talks about communicating boundaries. A dyad practice is included.

Exchange 1: Participant explores boundaries with her mother. Jeannie explores options in relating to someone close and when and what to share or not.

Exchange 2: Participant shares the difficulty she experiences around recognizing boundaries. Jeannie talks about the unlimited nature of the spiritual heart and the limited nature of the human being, and balancing those.

Exchange 3: Participant wants more information about energetic boundaries and taking on other people's energy. Jeannie explores sovereignty and handing responsibility for others back to them.

Homework: Practice simple direct “just the facts” conveying of boundaries. Also practice feeling into holding up a hand and saying “No” in one's own private space.

Class 3

Jeannie discusses the importance of rich soil as a metaphors for our foundation for boundaries, coming out of survival and into the present moment, so that out of rich, worthy resting, new skills can arise. Operating from the viewpoint of another as a “fellow struggling well-meaning human” can assist with communicating boundaries.

Exchange 1: Participant discusses her struggles with seeing the well-meaningness of others while setting boundaries. She shares her longing for freedom to unfold and how painful and impossible it feels in her challenging culture. Jeannie shares the need to develop both the yin of the soft, innocent heart and the yang of discernment around what to share and how to share it. 

Exchange 2: Participant is challenged by a coworker's reaction to her boundaries. Jeannie discusses the role of power in setting boundaries. We have more power to the degree that we are willing to risk everything; everything we are not willing or not able to risk gives us less power in setting a boundary.

Exchange 3: Participant shares about difficulties with her birthday planning and covid.  Participant and Jeannie explore and discuss possible fulfilling birthday celebrations in light of these circumstances. 

Exchange 4: Participant talks about her longing for deep rest and the sense that she can't slow down and rest with obligations. Jeannie shares about sitting with the simplicity of being and finding small places for ourselves that feel nourishing in the midst of what feels like hell.